


Kisme-sprit

by 2trangerMcDanger



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black-Red Vacillation, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Quadrant Vacillation, The solara and karkan are pale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-03-21 19:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3703265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2trangerMcDanger/pseuds/2trangerMcDanger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Karkat has a bit of a crush, Sollux just came for the free food and they end up kissing. At least that's how it started</p><p>Just a small collection of one shots based on one kind of lame AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You stare down at this weird beverage. Humans call this shit "eggnog." You're not entirely sure what's in it, but it tastes good enough to drink.

You stand there, in the doorway trying to look like you were having fun, but frankly this party is a total bust. You don't even get the concept. What is this "Christmas" everyone keeps talking about? Why is everyone wearing weird hats and exchanging presents? It must just be a human thing and your species wasn't made to understand. Frankly, you don't really want to.

So you just stand there, looking bored. The party isn't even that big. Just the four humans, John, Rose, Dave and Jade, and then only a small handful of trolls, Karkat, Kanaya, yourself, and Terezi. Kanaya is flirting a storm up with Rose. John, TZ and Jade seem to be having fun annoying Karkat for whatever reason, and Dave is no where to be found. You're about ten second away from just dropping this whole thing and leaving.

But, as if he was called over, your good and pretty much only friend here, Karkat, is coming over to talk to you. He has one of those shitty hats too, even with little horn holes, like it was made just for him.

"This whole thing fucking blows, Captor," he saunters over and leans against the same doorway, right in front of you. Karkat swishes around what looks like ordinary water.

"I mean, yeah I fucking get the 'being open to new cultural' bullshit but it doesn't even seem like any of them are open to OUR holidays! Last time I talked to any human about it, none of them seem remotely down with the thought of 12th Perigee! Kanaya said some garbage about them being 'culturally sensitive' and we should 'be patient' or whatever," he takes a sip and opens his mouth to keep talking but you hold your hand up to silence him.

"Totally get it, you don't need to keep talking," you say bluntly, and take a gulp of eggnog. Karkat watches and grimaces. "You actually like that disgusting milk shit? Are you serious? You don't even know what's it's made of!"

"Who gives a shit? You're just a picky little princes grub with too much to complain about,"

"Hey, fuck you. I can complain about anything I fucking want. Don't act all high and mighty just because you're over here trying to look like some 'cool kid loner' when in reality, you look like a total fucking tool!" Karkat talks with his hands way too much, spilling a little bit of his drink.

"I think your misunderstanding why I'm over here, you disgraceful hypocrite. I'm standing here just in case this party gets anymore boring (which I doubt) and I need to evacuate immediately,"

"Did you just call me a fucking hypocrite? IM only here because I'm trying to be social, not that you know what that means, fucking hermit,"

You glare at him, and start to say something when you hear a loud giggle futilely try to be stifled. You glance in the direction it came from and it's the John Human, both hands over his mouth and face completely red from laughter. When your expression contorts to confusion, he simply points upward, indicating you to look in that direction.

When you do, there's.....some kind of plant hanging from the doorway, white little berry-like things and a little red ribbon. You only look more confused. Karkat looks up and his face goes so red, so fast.

"Kk you know more about the humans then I do. What the fuck is that?"

He stammers a few times before he's able to actually speak. "It's....a mistletoe..."

"A mistle-what? What does it do?"

"Nothing really...but when uh...two people stand under it they're supposed to..." Karkat clears his throat and silences himself with more water. "You know what, it doesn't even matter, this party is stupid, everyone is stupid, and I should be going because--"

"Kk. What the fuck does it mean?"

He groans, and pinches the bridge of his nose. All the party guests are staring right at you and him.

When Karkat starts talking again, it's fast and mumbled, "itjustmeansthatwhenyoureunderitwithsomeoneyouresupposedtokissthemandtheresnothingmoretosayonthematter,"

"Did I hear the word 'kiss'?" That was so weird! Why would a plant mean kissing?

Karkat just groans again and buries his face in his hand, "Look, it's totally reasonable if you don't want to, I wouldn't wanna kiss me either. It's not like it's required, it doesn't even have to be on the mouth or anything,"

You simply press your hand to your temple. Humans are SO weird. "It's not that big of a deal. We can kiss if it's really how humans work and shit. Let's just hurry and get it over with,"

Frankly, you're not thrilled about the idea. Sure, Karkat's cute and all but you never thought of him as matesprit material. Or really as quadrant material at all, sometimes. But it was just one kiss. You can handle it. And you're sure he can too.

But when you give your friend the okay, his face brightens up a little, like he wants to kiss you. Why anyone would want that strikes you as odd but whatever. You drink the rest of your eggnog, set the cup down and Karkat grimaces again.

"Oh hell no, you're not going to kiss me while you have that revolting taste in your mouth, here I have some gum," unbelievable as it is, he sets his own cup down by yours and fishes around in his pocket, pulls out a brand of spearmint gum, takes a piece himself and offers you one. Reluctantly, you take it, unwrap it and pop it in your mouth.

Everyone is still watching expectantly, especially Kanaya and John. It makes you a little uneasy that they find this so entertaining but whatever. Its just a silly kiss.

Once you turn back to Karkat, he's staring at you. Eyebrows furrowed in a scowl but you can see clearly in his eyes that he's nervous. After a few second, he takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes, obviously expecting you to actually make the move.

You were fine with this, it's not like you're particularly shy. So you casually shove your hands in your pockets, lean forward just a little bit and kiss him.

He kisses back instantaneously, like he's been preparing himself for this moment. The kiss is much softer then you thought it'd be. Almost enjoyable. You can feel your blood pusher speeding up a bit, and your face getting warmer. Suddenly...you realize that you don't want this to end. Karkats lips are tender, and warm, not to mention he's much better at this then you expected. You find yourself moving closer to him, pressing your lips more firmly against his and even moving both your hands from your pockets up to cup his jaw. It was sensational.

But your lungs eventually burn for air and you pull away, not moving too far from his face and leaving your noses to still brush tips. You only manage to say a soft and simple "wow."

You hear him swallow and secretly hope that he felt the same thing you did. You're pretty sure he lost his balance during the kiss, because he's not even standing anymore, just putting all his weight on the doorway in a leaning manner.

"Yeah....wow," good. He did feel it.

"Get a room you two!" John yells from the small crowd. And that's when you remember that you weren't alone. Karkat's blissful expression turns angry again as he turns to look at John and flip him off.

"Egbert, in case you didn't notice, we were DOING SOMETHING. And when two people are DOING SOMETHING you keep your blubbering shit hole SHUT. Nobody asked for your brainless and totally unneeded commentary!" Karkat's face is red with embarrassment.

Dave finally comes over with a cup of something, strange antlers and a large red circle over his nose, "Woah, did something happen while I was gone? Looks like Vantas and the Bee-Boy did something really gay,"

A high-five is flawlessly executed between John and Dave, "They totally did! I wish I took a picture!" John chuckles gleefully.

Karkat shoves you away from him and crosses his arms over his chest, still blushing terribly, "Everyone just shut the fuck up! Nothing fucking happened, can we NOT do this please?!" Kanaya walks over and pats Karkat on the head.

"Why don't you head up to your block, Karkat, and we'll talk about it later?"

He swats her hand away and storms out, leaving the room silent and you sort of disappointed.

\------

For the remainder of the evening, you don't see Karkat. Mostly because you bailed 5 minutes after he left. But just before you're about to call it a night and sleep, you get a message. When you check Trollian, it's Karkat, messaging you, and seeming rather tame with his insults.

~~carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at 21:43~~

CG: HEY DOUCHEFUCK.  
CG: I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT.  
CG: I DIDN'T TOTALLY HATE WHAT HAPPENED EARLIER.  
CG: AND  
CG: IF  
CG: YOU EVER WANTED TO....  
CG: DO IT AGAIN?  
CG: I'D BE WILLING TO ENTERTAIN THE IDEA.

You can't help but snicker at the messages. Probably loopy from sleep deprivation. You respond, nevertheless.

TA: alriight, II gue22 that would be okay.  
TA: don't get any iidea2 though.  
TA: iim not nece22ariily lookiing for a mate2priit at the moment.

Karkat responds at a speed thats almost embarrassing.

CG: OH PLEASE.  
CG: DONT FLATTER YOURSELF.  
CG: IM JUST INTRIGUED BY YOUR SKILLS. I THOUGHT FOR SURE THAT A KISS FROM YOU WOULD BE ALL TEETH AND TERRIBLE IN EVERY WAY.  
TA: but iin2tead, ii have "2kiill."  
CG: YES.  
CG: BUT NOT A LOT.  
CG: SO DONT LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD, FUCKING NARCISSIST.  
TA: ii'll keep that iin miind, ii 2uppo2e.  
TA: when 2hould, whatever thii2 ii2, be 2cheduled?  
CG: JUST COME TO MY BLOCK TOMORROW AND TRY TO LOOK APPEALING.  
TA: whatever, ii'm tiired 'm turniing off my hu2ktop  
TA: iif you me22age me, ii won't re2pond.

Karkat starts typing up this huge paragraph about why would he want to message you anyway, how terrible you are, blah blah blah and then you shut off your husktop once you realize that he's not stopping.

\----

A few hours later, you still aren't asleep. Your head is throbbing, the voices seem to be working overtime tonight for some reason.

You reach for your husktop with the hope of music to drown them out. But as soon as you log back in, you've got messages from (who else?) Karkat.

At first, they're all similar to when you first went offline, insults and the like. But after all that, he seems to stop and it indicates that he's logged off as well.

However, he seemed to have logged back on a few minutes ago and sent just a single message before immediately logging back off.

 

CG: <3

 

You smile to yourself, a warm feeling tickling your chest. Called it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my writing? Maybe you'll like my art! Check out my art blog at  
> the2tranger-things-in-life.tumblr.com


	2. Chapter 2

Even though your biological Alternia clock still ticks away, telling you it's nighttime, the Earth sun has a way of smacking you with a sledgehammer and reminding you that its day. Ever since you and all the rest of the trolls moved to this hunk of grassy rock known as the human planet, everything has been hell. After everyone finally met face-to-face, there was a substantial  amount of both species that didn't want to departure to their respective planets. So a vote was taken and all of you had to move into the land called Texas, supposedly the closest thing to Alternian heat as anyone is going to get. However you're not able to peacefully coexist with the rest of the humans, only able to come out when things like conventions spawned up. And when things like 'Winter' (a part of the sweep where your land gets incredibly cold, you and your friends are either forced to stay inside, constantly bundled up, until its over, or hibernate like animals.

However the humans have several holidays in the winter and they all wanted to show you without you literally freezing your ass off. So they did this thing called "Christmas in July" or....something like that. Something did happen at the small get together though. Something huge with your best bro, Sollux.

Now, you've been thinking an unnecessary amount about Sollux and easily came to the conclusion that you have some sort of feelings for him. You guess you always had those feelings but repressed them so much that you never even thought to look into them. But ever since you moved to Earth, you all had to live under the same roof in this BIG ASS HIVE that Strider lives in. Somehow they emptied the bitch out and you have pretty much half the building at your disposal. You have a feeling that they just killed the other participants and jacked their shit. And then probably killed anyone who asked too many questions about it. Everyone else still needs to adapt to the fact that homicide isn't as socially accepted on this planet.

Anyway, this hivestem-esq place has different numbers of rooms per actually door. Just like a real hivestem. You called immediate dibs on a single respiteblock and everyone else either followed your path or bunked with each other. Strider just stuck with the one he already had before the game and kept everything how it was. Some people switched blocks or sometimes had sleepovers.

Some...didn't.

You were a prime example. When you were able to find a single blocked living arrangement, the place was an absolute sty. It took weeks to properly clean! Sollux is another example. He chose the room right across the hall from you. And every time he opens his door, you can already see the mess of wires grow more and more. That was the only mess though, at least that anyone could properly see. The thing is with living right across the hall from each other is that you see one another a lot more. Hes come over several times for video games and especially when you discovered the human versions of your favorite movies. They were still the same when it came to plot, script and characters but for some reason seeing them with different traits, shorter titles and much different vocabulary made it much more exotic. Watching so many Earth movies makes it much easier to learn about their culture and way of living. Maybe one day you could actual go out there and live among them. After concealing your...Alternian aspects of course.

Sollux has also been torturing you, somewhat, in the art of programming and code. You don't mean to brag but you've become substantially better at virus making, if you do say so yourself.

Somewhere along the line, you guess you just fell for him in a way that you DID NOT WANT.....at first. For all you know, you might not even actually like him. It could just be romantic deprivation. Terezi wanted to get back together with you a couple times, which you responded in a polite and kind FUCK NO. Eridan seems to have given up on quadrants completely and so did John. You do NOT want to set yourself up with any more humans anyway. You learned your lesson. Stick to your own kind. Gamzee doesn't seem to be interested in anyone that isn't Tavros and Kanaya is too absorbed in Lalonde to even give you a feelings jam. So Sollux is pretty much the only one that you can have intelligent conversation with anymore. And you're actually pretty okay with that.

You debated with yourself for the longest time about whether it was black or red. Some days, you wanted to choke him until his face turned completely yellow, then kiss him back to life, then stab him in the throat. Others, you just wanted to work up the nerve and cuddle with him while you're watching your "In2ufferable Moviie2"

But ever since that kiss last night, you cant get him out of your head, even for a second. That kiss was RED. RED as RED can be. Downright SCARLET. And you think he knows it. Its all you want him as anymore. You've played that kiss over and over in your mind like a video and it still gives you chills.

Its morning though. Hes coming over today. But you didn't specify what time. Knowing him, it'll more then likely be late afternoon. But you should prepare yourself anyway.

\-----

After taking about four showers, and doing everything you could to straighten out your mini-hive, you simply change into the human attire that was so kindly donated to you.

Because none of you have any sort of income, the trolls (mainly Vriska, Terezi, and sometimes Gamzee) go out and retrieve goods the way as of custom on Alternia. Completely looting whatever we need and killing anyone that gets in their way. Lets just say, a lot of people are looking for a Rag-Tag gang of cosplayer that are so much superior in terms of strength and psychic abilities.

Sometimes, they're tame though, Vriska only forcing all the humans in the vicinity to sleep and then casually taking what they want and strolling away.

You still don't give a flying fuck oyster about fashion, so you primarily chose the black clothing from whatever pile they bring home. If it doesn't fit, your moirail is an excellent tailor. You eat a small meal and accidentally fall asleep thinking out a strategy for this as if it were some mission or battle.

 

\-------

 

You're awaken with two hands shaking your shoulders. When you open your eyes, you see him. Sollux, hovering over you with that same scowl hes always got. "Seriously, KK? You invite me over and then when I actually decided to show up, you're asleep? Fucking shitty hosting skills," you're not even fully awake and hes already bitching at you. You groan, sit up and run your fingers through your still semi-damp hair. When you speak, its sort of gargled and slurred, "How the fuck did you even get in here,"

"It was unlocked,"

"Bullshit,"

"Okay, it was unlocked...after I picked said lock,"

"You broke into my fucking hive and watched me sleep?!" you're suddenly much more awake.

"Would you stop jumping to conclusions for two seconds? Fuck no, I didn't watch you sleep. All I did was pick the lock and wake you up. Frankly, I'm surprised you were asleep at all, let alone the type to take power naps,"

You stretch your arms, back and legs as he talks, stealing a glance over at him. Sollux is wearing a long sleeved shirt with what looks like a short sleeved shirt on top, much like Kanaya wears. Top shirt being black, under shirt being black, and regular denim pants. They compliment each other and him in a way that you would never admit to anyone but yourself. He crosses his arms and leans against the couch you had apparently fallen asleep on. "Whatever, Captor, nobody asked for your dumbass opinion anyway," you leave him in the living room to get yourself some water from the nutrients blo--you mean kitchen. "So I'm a dumbass now? And that makes you the most intellectually superior troll on this entire rock of a planet?"

"Can we not do this? I just woke up, still kind of tired,"

"Sure Princess Vantas, whatever you say,"

"Prettiest princess you'll ever see," he doesn't respond, and from the sound of it, hes shuffling through your things again.

Out of the kindness of your heart, you get him a fair sized glass of water as well. And when you walk back into the living block, you see your gut feeling was right; Sollux was riffling through your video game/movie collection and fucking up the order of everything. Part of you wants to remind him that you pretty much invited him over for the sole purpose of making out, and part of you also wants to romantically ease your way into this. He may have said he wasn't looking for a matesprit at the time, but that's not going to stop you from being a gentleman with a perfectly rational crush on your best bro that you kissed just yesterday at an alien holiday celebration under a plant.

 

He's kneeled down in front of the little bookshelf almost stuffed with movies and games. You tap your knee against the back of his neck to get his attention. Sollux, predictably, turns around and you hand him his water, he mutters a short "thanks", takes a gulp and continues looking for...something. Before he can actually find anything though, you can hear Terezi's voice echo in the hall, announcing the weekly loot was in. You and Sollux practically run each other over to see what they brought in today.

 

This one was supposed to be especially good. Every other week, the infamous Scourge Sisters take requests on what people want. And this was that week. Everyone was gathered in the halls, awaiting whatever they asked for. Kanaya was given clothes, Strider (of course) a gallon of apple juice, Harley some more flower seeds, Nepeta some new paint and paper, and finally...Terezi goes up to you, facing the wrong way at first, but then correctly. You're practically bouncing with excitement. "Alright, Karkles, it took awhile to find but we got it, you better appreciate the trouble we went through to--"

"Yeah yeah, thank you so much you're my savior, blah blah blah, just hurry the fuck up and give it!"

"Jeez, kk, what did you ask for?" you ignore Sollux and patiently watch as Terezi digs through the backpack and pulls it out. You ALMOST squeal, grabbing the book and hold it close to your chest. You look at the cover, reading over the words and admiring the cover art. "The Longest Ride" You cant wait for the movie to come out. You look up at Terezi, that grin ever-present on her face. You could almost kiss her you're so happy. But you wont because who knows where that mouth has been.

Without even waiting for Sollux to follow, you rush back to your hive reading as you walked. He follows you, nevertheless, asking so many dumb questions you just wanna tape his mouth shut and shove him in the closet. You, instead, plop yourself onto your comfortable human resting platform and continue to read. Sollux just stands in the doorway to your respite, looking confused. You glance up from your book a couple times to look at him, wonder why the fuck hes still there, and then go back to reading.

After a few short minutes of silence, save for the occasional page turning, Sollux leaves the doorway, but not your hive. You don't feel bad at first, and just keep reading. You're already past the first chapter and...you kind of want to see him now.

You close the book, set it down somewhere and make your way to where you assume your guest would be, the living room. Once again, your gut was right. Hes on his stomach, husktop set in front of him, typing away. He's facing away from you, and his arms crossed in front of him with his head laying on the pile. The little shit was using his freaky mind powers to work. You walk up to him and peer over his shoulder. Lines and lines of code are stacked and not many would be able to decipher it. You can, and he can, maybe Egbert could but you doubt he'd be good at it.

"Can I help you?" Sollux's voice sounds annoyed as always, "I thought you were reading," his tone sounds almost jealous, and you want to tease him about it but decide not to. He'd probably think of something equally as clever on the spot. Instead, you think of something else equally spiteful.

"No, not anymore. I'm just looking for any mistakes in your code," you would've paid to record his reaction and watch it over and over again. Sollux twitched a bit, the propped himself up on his elbows, turning to face you. "Excuse me? Did I just fucking hear what i thought i did? Holy shit, you say that as if I'm inferior to you in some way. Especially in terms of code, or computers in general. And I'll be DAMNED if--"

"Dude, chill, you're sparking up. I was fucking joking," you seriously don't want to get him too worked up, even if you were only HALF joking. He doesn't need to know that. "Look, I'm in a very good mood right now, the beginning pages of the book that I just got are far better then my wildest dreams. So if I stop reading just because I feel sorry for inviting you over and then ditching you, you better fucking appreciate it," despite the fact that you told him, to quote, "chill" he still looks pissed. "Oh my fuck, I could've fucking left if I felt like it, I could fucking leave RIGHT NOW. I did not come over because I wanted to make my day astronomically better but simply being next to you. I came over because I wanted to, okay? You do not fucking control me,"

Remember when you said that you sometimes feel like wringing his neck? These are one of those times.

"Fucking PLEASE, you're here because you know that if you didn't show up, I'd just go over to YOUR hive anyway. Why don't you just stop being such a pompous fuck maggot and accept the fact that we are FRIENDS, and FRIENDS go and fucking visit each other! This fucking schtick that you're only 'tolerating' me because you feel sorry for me is getting incredibly old and ANNOYING at the speed of fucking light," you're both standing now, practically in each others faces. Before you can continuing telling him off, he grabs you by the collar of the sweater and yanks you in for a kiss.

Except this one isn't like the one under the mistletoe. Your lips only make actual contact for about four seconds and then hes biting at your lip until you taste blood. You're not about to back down, not even a little. You sweep his legs out from under him and when he falls, you kneel over his hips, one hand over his chest pressing him down as a sort of precaution. He doesn't seem to mind being pinned down by you. In fact, when Sollux uses his freaky mind powers, its not to throw you off of him, but to pull you down for another kiss, another black kiss. Once in hands reach, he claws at your neck, ripping bits from your turtleneck off. Both of your tongues are so tangled in each other, you're dizzy and light headed and you love it.

The hand on his chest moves up to his hair, yanks him away from the kiss and then quickly slams his head down on the floor. Sollux makes a grunt that sounds uncomfortable, but not anything pathetic or in pain. You get up really close to him, brushing the tips of your noses together and mumbling low and husky, "What was that about me not fucking controlling you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my writing? Maybe you'll like my art! Check out my art blog at  
> the2tranger-things-in-life.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is kind of short.

Your face twists into a scowl as you stare up at him. Karkat has you pinned, and you could easily top him with a single thought. But you won't.

At least you think you won't. You haven't really made up your mind yet. A very large portion of you wants to throw him on his back and beat the tar out of him. While the other significantly smaller part wants to just make out some more and maybe get a grope or two. So instead of taking action, you just lay under him, glaring and trying not to look as flustered as you are from your own thought.

But then he hunches over, lays his hips right on yours, loosely places his hands on your wrist and leans close enough for you two to touch foreheads. His eyebrows are furrowed in a scowl, but his lips are pulled at in a smirk that is way too sexy for his own good. You feel your stomach jump and you can recognize that small insignificant part of you is growing rapidly. You want to kiss him. You want to run your fingers through his hair. You want him to hold you as tight as he can.

Karkat stares at you for awhile. You hate the way his hair falls so messily when he's bent over like this. You love the way those red eyes bore into you and examine everything you hate about yourself. You hate the way he bites his lip with teeth that are meant for shredding but don't anymore. And you love this way he's leaning down closer, and stealing a kiss from you.

This one was soft, passionate and tender. Like an apology for pulling your hair (even though you'd never admit to how much you actually liked that.) At some point, he stops holding himself up at all, making a smooth transition to laying on top of you. Your thin wrists slip past Karkat's hands, tracing up and getting lost in that thick charcoal hair just like you wanted them to. When he pulls away, he's smiling and blushing at a shade you've never seen before.

He whispers against your lips, barely audible but you still catch it, "No interruption this time," and it makes you melt down to your core. You didn't know what he was planning to do with you, but you can barely list off scenarios in your head.

You're still a little dazed when he kisses your cheek, gets up and walks to his block. You have two options here, Sollux. You can get cold feet now and bail, or you could go in there and mack on someone you never thought you'd want to mack on before. You sit there for a couple minutes, trying to force yourself to get up and follow him. Eventually, you finally stand up, a bit wobbly from the fall he caused you, and walk through the door Karkat just went through.

From the looks of it, he didn't really wait up. Karkat is laying on the bed, on his side, curled up with that damn book again. For God's sake, you know you two aren't dating but is it too much to ask for a little attention? You've got half a mind to rip the book away from him and another half that wants to still bail. Instead, you continue to shove both of those down and sit on the bed with him.

"Why the fuck did you even invite me over if you were going to just lay around and read?"

A few seconds pass and Karkat sighs, puts his bookmark in place and closes the book. When he turns over, he's still blushing. Maybe from earlier or maybe something else.

"Because I enjoy your shitty company and sometimes I don't just want to sit on my ass and make out and I do want to just fucking talk to a pathetic nerd that probably doesn't have anything better to do in the first place,"

You're taken off guard to say the least, and a little skeptical of his words. But nevertheless, there is a topic that has sort of been floating around and pestering everyone in the room. And after what just happened five seconds ago, and five minutes ago on the floor, it's only getting bigger and more bothersome. "Okay then, let's talk. In fact, there's something specific I want to talk about. Last night, under the mistle...thing--"

"Mistletoe, smartass,"

"Thank you so much for the input I did not ask for, prick. Anyway, what we did. What was that? And earlier in the other room, what was THAT? Kk, I get the part where you want to be in a quadrant with me (unless I'm just misreading signals here), and I might even be open to the idea, but which quadrant do you want me in?" You try to be as blunt and to-the-point as possible. His blush spreads wider and it makes you roll your eyes. It's as though he's at a loss for words and you have to continue talking until he finds something to say. So you sigh and do just that.

"I'll admit, I enjoyed what happened last night. And I enjoyed what we just did. I also enjoy hanging out with you, playing games together and teaching you about computers. Even when you're a total moron and can't get certain things through your thick, THICK skull and I get...frustrated, you still manage to stick around," you're rambling now, and you hate it. But he's still just sitting there, listening to you talk like it's entertaining, "and I guess, what I'm trying to say is, whenever you decide to pull your head out of your ass and tell me whatever it is you're thinking, and now would be a great time just saying, then I'm all ears," that's it. You have nothing left to say.

You get up, gather your husktop that you brought over, and leave. He doesn't try and stop you, and you're relieved so much that it makes you guilty. It'd be really good for you two to just sit down and think. Then maybe you could meet up again and try and sort this out.

You know you said you weren't looking for anyone to dwell in your quadrants but things change. People change. And if that person is you, people change very quickly. Especially if that person just made out with someone they never thought they'd make out with. It's confusing even for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my writing? Maybe you'll like my art! Check out my art blog at   
> the2tranger-things-in-life.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

You hear the front door close. Butterflies are practically eating away at your stomach. Sollux fucking Captor, the lisping dumbass that doesn't exactly have the strongest grip on his emotions, the blathering imbecile whose rants and exotic insults rival even your own. Sollux, the moron who you accidentally fell for and you don't even know which quadrant. You THOUGHT you knew, but that thing that just happened, on YOUR floor, was a total game-changer. That was hot. Hotter then you'd like to admit. And you loved it.

What he just said to you, though covered by insults and vague hints, rang loud and clear in your head as "If you just tell me you like me, I'll date you." Now you could just be jumping to conclusions, or you could be spot on. Nevertheless, you just want to charge down the hallway, rip Kanaya's door off its hinges, through Rose right the fuck off and tell her all about it. Or even Eridan. He probably wouldn't be as happy for you though. Especially considering he doesn't know the situation like Kanaya does. You don't do any of that though. Instead, you sit up and against the headboard of your human bed (which quite comfortable, you'll admit) and silently scream about what the fuck you were going to do.

Should you confess your feelings? Should you just outright tell him how you feel and hope to whatever holy entities there are that he feels the same way? If he didn't feel the same way, why would he kiss you? Why would he have come over? You know the only reason he kissed you yesterday was because he thought it was mandatory. But it obviously wasn't all that bad for him was it? WAS IT????? This is all so confusing. You need your moirail. But you cant leave right now, Sollux is right across the hall, he'll hear you leave and might even hear you talking. Messaging her would probably be your best bet.

~~carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 17:24~~

CG: KANAYA WE NEED TO TALK.  
CG: ITS REALLY IMPORTANT AND WHEN WE DO GET AROUND TO MEETING UP WHENEVER, I WILL REQUIRE YOUR FULL UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.  
CG: THE LAST THING I NEED IS FOR YOU TO BE COMPLETELY ENGROSSED IN HUMAN FEMALE ANATOMY WHILE I POUR MY FUCKING PUMP BISCUIT ON THE FLOOR AND HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP *BY MY FUCKING SELF* BECAUSE YOUD STILL BE SEDUCED BY THE WEIRD ALIEN WITH WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON HER HANDS.  
CG: ARE YOU EVEN READING THESE? I'M PRACTICALLY POURING ALL MY ORGANS OUT AS WE SPEAK AND YOU'RE PROBABLY DOING EXACTLY AS I EXPECTED.  
CG: OKAY FINE I GET THE PICTURE.  
CG: JUST MESSAGE ME WHENEVER YOU'RE "AVAILABLE."

~~carcinoGeneticist [CG] stopped trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 17:55~~

Just your luck. Shes probably got herself a lap-full of hornless alien while you're stuck to ponder about your own feelings. By the time she answers you, it'll be too late. You'll already have the perfect solution that'll be 100% idiot proof, even for a fuck up like you. Better start thinking now. Time to bust out your wonderful leadership strategy skills. 

 

With option one, (being brutally honest) you can at least get it over with and if he rejects you, he rejects you. You'll probably spend awhile trying to see if you can maybe change his mind though. You two totally had something just a while ago. At least from your perspective. But you cant let this be just like Terezi, where you just mindlessly flipped your feelings and just expected her to be cool with it. Buuuuuut then again, this is Sollux were talking about...Maybe you should consult someone who has actually been in a concupiscent quadrant with him. You really don't feel like talking to Feferi though. And you're pretty sure shes the only one. To your knowledge at least.

And option two, (wait this thing out until Sollux confesses his own feelings to you.) Yeah that's not really an option. Looks like you're just going to have to create some testosterone and talk to him. Not today though. Today has been eventful enough as it is.

 

After such a long and grueling thought process about your own quadrants, you proceeded to stay up for the remainder of a full Earth night. By the time your body almost literally collapsed on itself, it was about 8:00.

\---

When you awaken, you're on your couch, with your new book on the floor. Like a lusus to its grub, you scoop it up tenderly, mark your place and slip it neatly with the rest of your books. Still rather tired, you rub your eyes and ruffle your hair. Its then that you realize just how hungry you are, and just how much you want to lay on your bed and sleep a little longer. And how much you'd like to have someone to sleep next to. Great, the romantic in you is awake as well.

As you flop face first onto your bed, the thoughts of having a matesprit fill your head and you just bask in them. The thought of your supposed "soulmate" probably being on your godforsaken planet you call home depresses you more then you can express. Ever since you discovered and understood your own quadrants when you were very young, the thought of a matesprit just made you happy. Having someone to run their fingers through your hair and rub your shoulders when you're stressed (which is frequent), someone who wouldnt put up with your bullshit but would still listen when you just needed to talk, and of course, someone to spoon with when you're tired as fuck.

Is it really that insane to think that fate was on your side and kept your "other half" with you this whole time? Through the game, and even now? You highly doubt it. Maybe that person is a random human, or just one of the eleven trolls you've known for so long. What if someone really obscure is that person? What if....TAVROS was that person? Or EQUIUS? Oh god, the thought makes you shiver. No thanks. You're pretty sure that Gamzee would kill you before you could even think about dating Tav, and Equius would probably reject you anyway for the sake of Nepeta.

Why the hell are you thinking about this shit anyway? What does it matter? Why do all these thoughts come to you when you're not in the mood for bullshit, and more in the mood for sleeping??

Maybe you could message Sollux and he'd be willing to cuddle? What fucking stupid idea. Hes probably not the cuddle type. But you should message him. Just for the sake of telling him your feelings. It shouldn't be that hard. Just tell him casually and then you get some kind of reaction. Hopefully.

You lazily stretch over and get your husktop, opening up Sollux's handle. He didn't appear to be online, and you're not sure if hes even awake. You'll go ahead and send him a message anyway.

 

~~carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at 18:07~~

CG: KNOWING YOUR LAZY ASS, ID SAY YOU'RE PROBABLY ASLEEP RIGHT NOW.  
CG: BUT JUST IN CASE YOU AREN'T  
CG: I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU SHOULD COME BACK OVER.  
CG: RELATIVELY SOON THAT IS.  
CG: I WONT SET A PARTICULAR TIME, BUT AT LEAST MESSAGE ME BEFORE YOU SWING BY.  
CG: I SHOULD BE UP FOR THE REMAINDER OF...THE DAY????  
CG: THE NIGHT?????????  
CG: IM STILL NOT ENTIRELY USED TO NOT BEING NOCTURNAL. ITS NOT LIKE ANYONE IS MAKING ME OR ANYONE ELSE STAY UP DURING AN *ENTIRE FUCKING EARTH DAY*, BUT ID STILL LIKE TO GROW ACCUSTOM TO THEIR WEIRDASS WAYS I GUESS. I KNOW THAT TEREZI AND VRISKA STAY UP ALL EARTH NIGHT. BUT THAT'S BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY TIME THEY CAN EFFICIENTLY LOOT, KILL AND TERRORIZE THE POOR EARTHLINGS.  
CG: WOW THIS IS REALLY STUPID, I'M GRIMACING FROM JUST READING THIS.  
CG: UGH, YOU KNOW WHAT, FORGET IT. ILL TALK TO YOU LATER. LIKE ACTUALLY FUCKING TALK TO YOU.

 

God, how asinine could you be? Rambling on and on about nothing? Very attractive, Karkat, I'm sure you reel in all the babes. You close your husktop and shove it to the other side of your bed. You cant handle this kind of embarrassment when you've just woken up. A few seconds later, you hear a chime that alerts you of new messages and you pounce on it. Whether it be from Kanaya or Sollux, both would be good right now. When you open it, there's a little red dot by Sollux's handle. So he is still awake then.

 

TA: yeah, that work2 fiine.   
TA: let me 2leep a couple hour2 though.  
TA: iim tiired a2 2hiit.

 

Oh, well at least he responded to your message. Your heart is pounding, he's actually coming over after that travesty. There's still hope!

 

CG: FINE. WHATEVER. I BET YOU WERE UP AGAIN CODE BINGING. SOUNDS JUST LIKE YOU. DOING SOME SHIT THAT YOU KNOW IS TERRIBLE FOR YOU.  
TA: wow. Okay, that wa2 kiind of 2udden.   
TA: iit2 not liike you have much room two talk but a2 previiou2ly 2tated ii am VERY tiired.  
TA: 2o vanta2, kiindly fuck off for awhiile.

~~twinArmageddons has logged off~~

 

You are the biggest dumbass you know. You couldn't have played nice for even a single sentence. You should just climb to the top of this hivestem and jump off because if the fall doesn't kill you, the embarrassment will. At least he's coming over at all. And at least he didn't give you a more valid argument and started a full out spat between the two of you. Beggars cant be chooser you suppose. But on the other hand, you have a few hours of planning and perfecting the moment he comes over. That should be plenty of time.

Finally, you got a response from Kanaya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my writing? Maybe you'll like my art! Check out my art blog at  
> the2tranger-things-in-life.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

You are exhausted. Just as your obvious suitor predicted, you stayed up for several hours coding. Your wrists hurt, your eyes burn, and your head feels like its about to explode. You hobble over to your resting platform and fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. Not a single dream disrupts your slumber. Just darkness, silence, and pure bliss.

\---

Unfortunately, your relaxation is short lived. You wake up about four hours later. Still tired, but not as much. At least you don't ache anywhere anymore. It takes you a little bit to remember that Karkat wanted to come over again. Why he would ever want that after everything that's been happening is beyond you. So, you shower and groom yourself as best as you can with the miserable state you've found yourself in. Once you're dressed and at least mildly presentable, you leave the sanctuary of your own hive and travel the very short distance to the neighbor across the hall. You'll admit, you're a tad nervous. Even if you're not entirely sure why. Nonetheless, you take a deep breath and knock. Shit. You forgot to send a message first. Oh well. His hive is never a mess and its not like he'd have any time to prepare anything. The walking distance is much too short.

Karkat answers a few short moments later. He looks the same as always, expect with a different, yet very similar outfit. He crosses his arms and just stares at you. Like he's expecting you to say something. Or maybe apologize for not letting him know you were coming over. Instead of doing either, you shove your hands in your pockets and stare right back at him.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" you words seem much more annoyed than you meant them to be.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought breaking in was how you were most comfortable with doing things," he snaps at you and before you can retaliate, he moves aside. Jesus Christ, you still cant believe this guy has any sort of feelings for you. You would've never found out judging by the way he acts. That might just be how he treats his "crushes" and maybe he treats his actual quadrant-mates better.

"That was just a one time thing, don't pretend I do it on a regular basis," you've got no heat, nor venom in your remark. Thankfully, he doesn't reply, simply sitting on his couch and looking as if he's ignoring you. You don't question it and plop right down next to him, "Are you seriously going to invite me over again and not talk to me?" Karkat doesn't respond, again. You're not sure whether to be worried or not. Hes just staring off, his eyebrows occasionally furrowing in a scowl. What could he possibly be thinking about? You nudge at him with your shoulder to get his attention. No dice. So you just sit there with him.

After awhile, you hear him sigh. Not like he's annoyed. More like he just took a deep breath. You glance over at him and hes still glaring at the ground, face devoid of emotion otherwise. He finally speaks, "I like you, a lot, and...I want you to be in a quadrant with me," his voice is low, and a little reluctant. Even though you already knew this, it still made your face feel warm. The way he said it though, like he knew you were sure to reject him and he just needed to get it out. It just makes your heart melt. However, you're still yourself. Try as you may, you still cant be romantic. Truth be told, though, you kind of like him to. It might just be the fact that hes a great kisser or that you've just known one another for a generous portion of your lives. So you'll still give it a shot. Who knows, you might not fuck up terribly.

As smooth and quick as you can, you turn yourself to face him, brushed a lock of his thick, dark, wavy hair away from his face, and kissed him on the cheek. Karkat jumps, moving away from you. Hes blushing, and looks shocked. Like the kind of scared shock. It makes your heart melt again with a huge wave of pity taking over. You feel like you should apologize, but common sense tells you that's not the appropriate thing to do.

"I like you too," Wow, that came out sounding really dumb, didn't it. Karkat just stares at you, blush spreading to the tip of his ears, "but I need to know which quadrant you want to at least start in," Karkat looks away again, like he's thinking something through, but he still looks scared, or at least a little anxious. Disturbing his train of thought might not be the best decision; you don't try to add any input, just sitting by him and waiting patiently. It only takes a couple seconds before hes made up his mind.

"Flushed,"

"Flushed?"

"Yes, you fucking parrot, I want to start off in the Flushed quadrant," the way he talks is like saying all of this is literally going to kill him, "But I still expect you to be okay with switching to Caliginous when you piss me off,"

"I feel like I could say the same to you," you both share a chuckle and Karkat moves a bit closer to you. He doesn't seem much more comfortable, hes so tense that he's shaking. You hesitantly lay your hand on his shoulder. He looks over at you, and you cant think of anything to say. So you don't think, you just talk.

"We can start off slow, if it makes you feel better," the look he gives you makes you feel like the biggest moron ever, like that was exactly what he _didn't_  want to do. You're about to apologize and take back what you said until he sighs again, and brushes your shoulder off, "You don't need to hold back just because I'm a nervous little piss grub. Just fucking...act like you would with any other matesprit or kismesis or whatever, okay?" he Karkat sounds so unbelievably bothered, tense, anxious and bored all at once. You don't know if you should leave, kiss him or continue to talk to him.

The hand he brushed away lays on your thigh, but you inch it closer to his leg. As soon as it brushes against it, Karkat's eyes snap to look at your hand, like its a poisonous snake of some sort. Once he notices that it is, in fact, not a deadly animal, he relaxes a little more. You're not sure if that's the okay or if you're being an idiot yet again and should stop right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my writing? Maybe you'll like my art! Check out my art blog at  
> the2tranger-things-in-life.tumblr.com


	6. Chapter 6

This is insane. This is so insane. You're going to die. You're not sure how yet. You're very very happy, yet terrified, nervous and just feel like your body is about to explode.

Sollux is touching your leg. And, for some reason, you want to slap him for it. Who the fuck does he think he is?? Does he think he can just say you two are a couple now and he can just touch you however he wants???? HELL no!! If he wants some, he's gotta romantically seduce you. He hasn't even officially asked you to he his Matesprite yet. Maybe he wants you to ask? Frankly, you're still confused if this is real or if you're dreaming. If you were dreaming, you could slap him and there wouldn't be any consequence. But then you'd have to go through the hell of confessing to him again.

Holy shit, stop thinking about nonsense and kiss him! Sollux's hand is on your knee now and the entire top half of your head is warm. His expression is so innocent, like he's just as new to this as you are. That's when the thought occurs to you that he might be new to this. You never knew why you thought he was such a stud, that's he's probably banged everyone in this hive stem when you only see him go out in the hall once a week for the loot hauls and occasional feels jams with Aradia. Other then that, he's only been going to your place to hang out. Why does that make you feel so special?

Okay, NOW stop thinking and kiss him. You turn your head up and stare at him like an idiot. That previous sentence repeats in your head over and over until you're so nervous you can hardly breathe. You can feel your blood pusher in your chest, thumping away and feeling like it might jump out and into his lap. Gross.

You take a deep breath through your nose and it sounds shaky. You want to kiss him. You want to so bad. Judging by the way you can barely see those red and blue vague outlines of his pupils and irises glancing down at your lips, he wants to kiss you too. There is little to no chance of rejection here.

If you kiss him now, he'll kiss back. If you push him down on his back and run your hands along his sides, he'll still kiss you. If you subtly slip your fingers under his shirt or down his pants he'll--

You need to fucking KISS him right the fuck now. So you do. Or at least try.

When you hold you breath and practically slam your mouth against his, Sollux makes this little grunt that's so fucking adorable. It actually takes you a few seconds to purse your lips and *seriously* kiss him. You've pressed your mouths so close together, you can feel his pulse in his lips. And damn, it's fast.

Sollux nudges you away, just a little bit, giving him enough room to breath before you head-butt him again. You're not even a breath apart.

"Warn me next time, geez," he doesn't talk above a whisper, like you two aren't supposed to be here right now and you don't want to be caught.

"Ask me to be your Matesprite," you try your best to match his volume, but for you it's harder then it looks.

"What?"

"I want you to ask me to be your fucking Matesprite!"

"Does it make a difference?"

"Are you actually asking me that? Are you seriously fucking asking me that right now, Captor?? It makes a HUGE difference!" Your voice is raising a little bit and you have to force yourself to lower it, "just...ask me....please,"

The smile he shows is so natural, there's no sarcasm, snark, eye brow quirk, or even a lame pun that he said before. It's just his smile. And it makes you feel so fuzzy on the inside.

"Okay fine. Karkat, will you be my Matesprite?"

You wait a little bit before responding, "Yes, I will," you're so happy right now you could jump out a window. Nobody has ever asked you into a quadrant that way. When you and Dave had that fling on the meteor, it couldn't have been more casual. Dave's not the romantic type. You were the one who asked Terezi out, and even then it didn't give you this kind of feeling. The feeling you've been lusting after for as long as you can remember. You know Sollux isn't the romantic type either, but you can tell he's trying. That's all that really matters.

He kisses you this time, thank god. It feels almost exactly like under the mistletoe. Except with the fantastic added benefit of privacy. Kanaya's advice still chimes fresh in your memory.

"Don't Go Too Fast. Set A Pace That Both Of You Are Comfortable With."

You two kiss until you're light headed and need a break. This is when you realize the hand on your knee has since moved up your leg and is now casually laying on your mid-thigh. Is he...signalling you for something? Telling you it's okay to take this to the next level so soon? You only just started dating. When did his hand even get there? How brain-dead does kissing him make you?

You're not sure if you're ready for such a huge step. Even if you were best bros before all of this. You've never let anyone see you with less clothes on then just shirtless. And that was with Kanaya a few times. It's hard to tell if Sollux has even gotten THAT far.

Part of you just wants to watch a Rom-Com and cuddle like you wanted to when you'd think about him in the flushed quadrant, while the other half wants to go along with wherever he thinks that hand is going. Maybe you should ask him?

"Sollux?" For some reason, you don't have any trouble talking to him anymore, "what do you wanna do?"

Silence for awhile, he just stares at you, like you're speaking in a language he knows but isn't fluent in.

"With you?"

"You better fucking say 'just kidding' in about five seconds or your ass is in the hallway,"

"Okay, okay, sorry, I was kidding,"

What an ass. His fast reaction was kind of funny, if you're being honest.

"I'm pretty much up for whatever you feel like. Just as long as it won't kill either of us and doesn't involve any shit movies,"

"I have good news for you then. I want to watch a movie. And it's NOT shit, because it's awesome," you weren't totally set on watching a movie, but just because he said that you are now.

"Okay, I guess, what movie?" He's still wearing that dreamy expression, how cute.

"Knocked Up,"

And that expression drops and is replace with a look of skepticism. "I don't think I've seen that one,"

"You had the chance to, but you fell asleep half an hour in,"

"What makes you think I'll stay up this time?"

"Because this time, were in a quadrant and you have to. Even if you do fall asleep I'll be a little more okay with it,"

"Wow, I didn't know you and Rom-Coms were a package deal,"

"That the third fucking retard thing you've said today. How many brain cells have you lost between now and yesterday? What's that? All of them you say? I thought so,"

"KK just shut your ass and let's watch this shitty movie,"

You smack him on the shoulder and go to set up the movie. In your own repiteblock. Sollux hesitates, but follows you. Everything is set up and you both lay next to each other and start watching the beginning credits.

It takes you about a second to curl up to him and lay your head on his chest. He's so warm, just like you thought. His hip is also jabbing you in the stomach and he smells like an odd mix of metal and honey. But they're just...endearing inconveniences. Yeah let's go with that. Sollux wraps his arm around your shoulder and his long fingers tap at your back, like he's slowly typing something with just one hand.

At one point, you just close your eyes and bask in his warmth and the sound of his heart. You've seen this movie so many times, you know what's happening from just the dialogue. Sollux is actually watching it, you even feel him shake with laughter a few times. You wrap your arms around him, nuzzling into his torso more.

You love cuddling like this. It's been awhile since you have. The last person you did this with was Kanaya.

Nothing beats cuddling with Kanaya. She's got the perfect amount of body fat and the perfect sized rumble spheres AND she has the most pleasant body temperature and always smells sweet. A magnificent troll pillow. Sollux may not have any of those things but it's the sentiment that counts.

You want to lay here forever. You'd gladly die of starvation or any type of sickness to just to lay here for eternity.

Eventually, and unfortunately, the movie ends. Sollux nudges you a little to get your attention. "You still awake?" You nod in response.

"You wanna get up?" You shake your head. He coos at you and kisses your hair. You lay like that for a few more minutes and then sit up and stretch your back until it pops loudly. Sollux winces at that.

Your voice is groggy, like you were actually about to fall asleep, "are you hungry?"

"Yeah kind of, you don't have to cook anything. We can order something. I'm sure TZ would lend us some cash," he stretches too, only his arms though. While you were laying down, his shirt must've ridden. You can see a generous portion of his stomach and it makes you want to just cuddle him again.

"Yeah, let's do that,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my writing? Maybe you'll like my art! Check out my art blog at  
> the2tranger-things-in-life.tumblr.com


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im very sorry this took so long, my internet cut out and was only full restored yesteryday

You and Karkat have been dating for almost six earth months now. You don't remember the exact date, mostly because you don't fully understand human concept of dates just yet. A lot has happened since you two established your relationship. It's worth mentioning you never noticed how jealous Karkat can get with his quadrant mates. As if your relationship wasn't already well known throughout your group of friends, he has to make a point that you two are dating to everyone he thinks is hitting on you. It's hard to tell if he doesn't trust you or if he's just like.

He hasn't done anything really huge. Except the time he actually tried to divide out your time between him and Aradia. God, you were so pissed. He said it was because you were spending too much time with her. No fucking shit. You two have been in a quadrant for MUCH longer then you and Karkat. He has no right telling you how to spend your time! That was probably the first black moment you two had together, and there have been worse. For some reason that one just hits you the hardest. Every time you think about it, you feel like punching something. You're not really mad at him though, just his jealousy. It's annoying. You two would probably flushed as flushed can be without ever switching if it wasn't for the fact that he always feels like everyone wants to fuck you, or you want to fuck everyone.

It has come into conversation, but he seems uncomfortable when you talk about it. And it just pisses you off more.

He does have a lot of good points to him though, enough to almost completely shadow out everything else. He knows how to get shit off your mind, especially when you're in some depression funk or whatever. Sometimes even better then Aradia, if you dare say. Karkat's kind of an amateur at kissing, (it's kind of cute actually) but he's getting better, awesome at cuddling, funny as hell, smart enough to sometimes outdo you in your "rational debates" (which you totally win, most the time), not a bad cook though he could use some practice.

Hes also pretty squeamish about the ENTIRE subject of sex. You know that you haven't been dating all that long; you should probably be more patient. Easier said then done. The two of you have make out sessions practically weekly, but every time it gets good and you try to take things just a little further, he freezes up, and shoves you away.

That's why, tonight, you're going to try one last time. If you make a move on him, and he doesn't go for it, that'll be it. You'll stop trying and respect his boundaries. So tonight, you're either getting laid or--

 

"SOLLUX!! What the fuck are you doing in there?! You've been in the shower for almost two fucking hours!!"

Shit. Speak of the Devil.

You must have spaced out again. It takes a few minutes to get out, dry off and get dressed. You spent the night at Karkat's, which isn't anything new. Typically, nothing happened. Karkat is standing in front of the door, arms crossed and a scowl on his face that you just can't take seriously, "What took so long? You said ten minutes, at most!"

"What's the big deal? I spaced out in the shower, so fucking what?"

He looks at you with a disbelieving expression. You roll your eyes and take a few steps forward to kiss him on the forehead. You kind of want to ask him what else you could be doing in there, but you're pretty sure you know the answer, "Is it cool if I stay another day?"

"Another? That'll be the third in a row! Is there something wrong with your hive?" he sighs, and smiles, though it doesn't look like he has much control over it, "yeah okay fine, you can spend another night,"

You smile ever so subtly as Karkat grabs his things and moves into the ablution-block for his own shower. Unlike you, his shower is actually going to be very brief.

\---

Surprisingly, it's NOT brief. He takes almost twice as long as he normally does. When he does step out, you're laying on your stomach, on his bed, screwing around with the laptop Terezi and Vriska managed to grab for you a few weeks ago. The door creaks open and you can feel the block getting hotter from the steam pouring in.

You glance over your shoulder, a snappy remark already in your mind, however the second you open your mouth, you're drawn to a blank. Karkat isn't even fully dressed, facing away from you and digging in his dresser drawer for something in nothing but a towel tied tightly around his waist. You flip around on your back and just stare at him for a second. A gigantic part of you wants to get up, wrap your arms around him and drag him down onto the bed, even if you'd probably get shut down.

He looks divine. His hair not even looking like it was attempted to be dried, droops down and makes you forget just how long his hair is when it's not fluffed up. It doesn't look like he tried drying himself off either, droplets of water falling down his back and shoulders only to get soaked up in the towel. His body is actually steaming from the warm water still fresh on his skin. He's got scars too, mostly straight lines either going vertical or horizontal on his back and shoulders. And one really bad one right in the center of his shoulder blades. A few creative ideas form from what it could've been from. You want to say something but you don't want to ruin this view. Eventually he does turn around, blush from the sight of you staring at him (probably looking like you could literally eat him up) and scowls. "Don't be such a fucking pervert, I just forgot to bring something, Jesus fuck," At least that's what you think he said. Your eyes are too busy staring at his torso and hips. He definitely works out, or is at least in good shape. Very good shape. He probably wouldn't be as sexy if it wasn't for all this pent up sexual frustration. But he probably still would be that sexy. You finally stare up at his face and his scowl is even harder and colder. Should you say something? You've pretty much dug your own grave here already, if you say something smooth it might up your chances for tonight. Karkat's still staring at you and it's making you nervous. Your face feels a lot warmer and you feel like you're about to vomit. Quick, just say something! Anything!

"Hi," you even wave a little and it makes your very soul ache with embarrassment. Karkat doesn't seem to mind, though, he actually laughs. Not like a 'Holy shit you fucking moron, you think you could get with me?' kind of laugh. More like a 'Oh my god, you dork.'

"How the fuck did I get so lucky?" Karkat leans over the bed, and kisses your cheek. You're flustered from the close proximity alone. Then again, you've been pretty flustered ever since he stepped out.

Your "loving" quadrantmate goes back to his business and moves back into the ablution-block to finish getting dressed. That's when the thought hits you and you feel like a complete idiot for only just realizing it now. What if you're not ready for sex yet either?

It's a huge step in a relationship and could very well make or break one. What if you're terrible at it? What if you're SO terrible at it he just gets up and fucking leaves? Or worse: What if you're terrible, but he says you're not? You no longer blame Karkat for being a huge wuss every time you make a move.

You shove literally every thought out of your head about anything, and try to relax. After some deep breathing, rubbing at your eyes with your fingertips, and thinking about the most random-est shit one can think off, you're pretty sure you're calm now. When you uncover your face, Karkat is sitting right in front of you, dried off and fully clothed. He doesn't say anything, just stares at you with a look you know all too well.

"I'm fine, you don't need to give me that face," there/s no snark in your statement, you even add a smile for a little boost in reassurance. He doesn't look at all convinced, that concerned expression leaning more to the angrily caring side.

"Are you sure? Because last time you said some shit like 'I'm fine', I had to call Aradia over at like five in the fucking morning. Its not like if you talk to me about your feelings, your tongue will explode all over the place and you'll bleed to death. I am an excellent fucking listener, contrary to belief. I'm also sure that I will be more then happy to exchange some very friendly and even matesprite-ly advice for..." Karkat obviously doesn't stop there, continuing to ramble about something you cant pay attention to even if you tried. You have a feeling he knows you're not paying attention, but just has things he needs to say anyway. Things that hes been dying to say for quite a while but hasn't had the opportunity. Even if you're not paying attention, you find it hard not to drift in and out of what he's saying.

"And another thing, we need to get you on a much healthier fucking diet, if you're gonna mooch off my food, then you're not going to be eating my comfort food. That shit is for someone who is not you and who is me when I'm sad and don't want to deal with anyone's shit. Or when I'm pissed and don't want to deal with anyone's shit,"

This is around the time you want him to shut the fuck up. You're calm now and looking at his face just makes you want to kiss it. So you do. Right when hes in the middle of getting onto you about something, you grab him by the jaw and tug him into a kiss. It takes a few seconds for him to stop trying to talk against your lips and start kissing you back. The actual kiss lasts only a few seconds, but by the time you both pull away at the same time, he looks too much in bliss to care. You smirk and peck him again before rolling back on your stomach to fuck around with your computer again.

He makes a very audible groan and lays down next to you, peeking over your shoulder, "What the hell are you doing?" You just sort of roll your eyes and close the laptop. Karkat obviously doesn't give a shit what you're doing, just blankly staring at the screen, "You must seriously crave some affection if you think you can interrupt my computer time,"

"Wipe that condescending smirk off your face, I'm just fucking bored," despite that, he curls up next to you, stuffing his face in your side and nuzzling at your ribs. Hes like a little child sometimes. Which isn't always good but right now, you're okay with it.

It takes you a little bit to roll back over on your back, considering Karkat is pretty stuck in that one spot for the time being and refuses to move. You wrap an arm around his shoulder. It's about the time Karkat prefers to go to sleep, and the time you prefer to wake up. Whenever you're at his place though, you go off his schedule. You bury your face in his hair, trying to work up the nerve to make the move that will determine how this relationship will go down. It feels like an epic game of chess. Like you're up against a really hard opponent with a perfect poker face. And you're about to move a piece that could either get in a smooth checkmate or be easily evaded and continue the game on for a lot longer. You know the risks, and you're willing to take them.

Its your job in the relationship to turn off the lights when you spend the night together. It's not a job that gets alternated very often, and its solely because your the one with "crazy-ass telekinesis." It's a strong argument, and you don't really mind. The lights flick off and you feel him getting a little more comfortable. Staring down at him, you feel bad for all the thoughts you have. The guilt isn't enough to make you change your plans though.

As subtly as you can, you move your hand from Karkat's shoulder to the curve of his side. He tenses up and you stop there. If you're slow enough, he might not notice your intentions just yet. Several minutes pass, he relaxes again. You spread your fingers out, one of them pushing under his over-sized shirt. He tenses again. You stop. That chess metaphor is sounding truer and truer the more the minutes pass. As if Karkat is very cautiously plotting his next move. More minutes pass, he relaxes but only about half as much as before. You move your entire hand in the direction of the finger already there. Karkat stiffens up more and even swats at your hand. You smirk, taking this as more of a challenge then a rejection. Your hand moves lower, resting on his hip now. The fingers under his shirt shift, starting to dip into his pants. Karkat doesn't stiffen, he doesn't even move. Seconds pass and your fingers move in lower--

"Sollux..."

Fuck.

Karkat sits up, effectively moving your hand. You sit up with him. His expression is a little difficult to see in the dark but it looks conflicted. He opens his mouth to say something but stops himself. This is it. The turning point. Before he has the opportunity to say anything, you tangle your fingers in his hair and pull him into a kiss. He kisses back, thank god, hands meeting up to overlap yours. This might actually be happening. You're so excited yet terrified all at the same time.

You open your mouth, he opens his. Your tongues meet halfway, curling around each other and making you shudder. None of this is new for you two. The kiss becomes more heated as time passes. Your lips already feel puffy and wet. You move your legs to face him, and even tangle in his. Its wonderful, blissful; you could kiss him for hours. All too quickly, you become impatient. The hands in Karkat's still wet hair fall smoothly and rest on his shoulders. You pull away from him, breaking the kiss and he looks like a perfect mix of tired and lustful. It's a look that suits him perfectly. You smile, and drag your lips down to his neck. Wet, open mouth kisses dot his neck. You even add a few bites now and then, remembering how much he likes that. Each bites, kiss and lick forces out the tiniest of moans, squeaks or sighs. Your patience wears thin again as your hands moves down to drag themselves down his torso and lay limply at his thighs. You slowly move your hands inward, getting more excited the closer you get.

You feel him make a little shudder and...he shoves you away. Just like every other time. Karkat is out of breath, a heavy blush spreading from the tip of his nose all the way to his ears. His hands are on your shoulders, gripping too tight for comfort. He looks like hes about to cry, "I'm...really sorry. It's not that I don't want to do that with you, I fucking swear it isn't. I just don't know if I'm--WE'RE ready for that," It hits you like a ton of bricks. The turning point was not in your favor.

It makes you want to cry too. But then, seconds later, you feel pissed. You're not sure why. His rejections never made you angry before. You jerk him back into a kiss, gnashing at his teeth and biting violently at his lip. He returns your gesture, likely getting just as mad just because you're mad. You continue until you taste blood, tug at his hair and pull away. You give one last scowl at him before looking down at his groin and flicking the obvious bulge in his pants. Karkat makes a pained little yelp and you stand up, getting out of the bed. You need a very cold shower.

 

\--POV CHANGE--

Its been several weeks since that incident. Sollux has been much more distant if anything. It's not like he doesn't see you as often as he did before that. There have just been much less sleepovers and make-out sessions and that pisses you off. Or at least makes you irritable. You aren't sure why, maybe you just thought you two were making progress in your relationship but he shuts you out last minute. You're not sure what happened exactly that made him this way but you feel like it might have something to do with you. But you do SO MUCH SHIT to piss him off. "Something to do with you" could literally be anything. Being with someone like Sollux could incredibly stressful sometimes, but you do this anyway because no matter how much of a prick he is, you still care for him.

You might not know exactly whats driving him up the wall these days but you do know the lack of affection from him is making you even more frustrated with yourself then usual. Every night you ask him if he wants to spend the night like he used to, he just makes up an excuse and refuses. You don't know what it is but goddammit you're going to get the Sollux you've been seeing these long months back! And you have the perfect plan.

Your 7 month anniversary is today. You've talked over your plan with everyone and anyone who would listen and keep the information from Sollux. So basically just Kanaya and Dave. It's going to be perfect if all goes according to plan.

~~~~~

Sollux Captor is such a fucking prick. You are going to rip his head off and mount it on your wall. Hes been GONE all day. Literally all fucking day. Not even in his fucking hive. Hes dead once you see him again. You're currently pacing in you're block, thinking of different ways to beat the living shit out of him, when you hear a knock at your door. That better be him, if its not, you're going to flip some serious shit.

It is him, and he looks guilty. Good. But it doesn't do anything to calm your rage. "I'm giving you about 60 seconds to explain where the fuck you were today. Go." Surprisingly, he doesn't say anything. Instead, he just hands you something. Its a small box, just big enough to hold...a human DVD disc. This fucker went out and got you a present, didn't he? That makes you a little less pissed but still pretty upset. It better be something good, something TREMENDOUS. Its wrapped up in simple tissue paper, probably done by not Sollux but that doesn't matter. You unwrap it with a little care as you can possible manage. When you see what movie hes gotten you, it almost brings you to tears.

Sollux Captor is literally the best matesprit in all of Paradox Space. He got you "The Longest Ride". You're able to hold it in your hands now and call it yours. You throw your arms around him, squeezing him so tight, his eyes might pop right out of his skull. You kiss him over and over, wherever you can. A few times you miss his mouth and kiss somewhere on his cheek or even his chin. It's not like you care, youre just so fucking happy!

"Does this make up for my absence?"

"Shut up,"

You haven't even let Sollux in yet. The two of you are just practically making out in your doorway. Even though you're not one to show public affection, you can make an exception just this once. But after a second, people start coming out and you get nervous.

Without letting go of him, you drag your matesprit into your hive. Now its time for the present you got for him. You grab him by the collar and shove him against the closed doorway. Despite the awesome gift, it most certainly does NOT excuse for his absence. Or his lack of affection. Today, you're going to make him yours, officially.

No matter how scared you are, no matter how unprepared you feel, you're going through with this. You want him, and you know he wants you. Thats all that matters right now. Whether its black or red, you're going to pail your quadrantmate and best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my writing? Maybe you'll like my art! Check out my art blog at  
> the2tranger-things-in-life.tumblr.com


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this took so long, i really hope you enjoy this.  
> the entire chapter is smut pretty much, sorry

He's nervous and stumbling to your own block, eventually tripping and landing on the bed laying on his back. Good, that's how you wanted him anyway. You debate whether or not to get on top of him or lay next to him. This is something that's best not rushed. It hasn't even been a half hour and Sollux is already sweating and breathing a little deeper. What a light weight. It's a little bit of a stretch, but you manage to lean over and kiss him. It's small and short, the kind of kiss moirails give each other on the cheek, except this was not on the cheek. Fortunately, it seems to calm him down despite how simple it is.

You lay yourself down on him, pressing yourself against his chest and holding him close. Even if it doesn't show, you're just as nervous as he looks. After getting comfortable, the two of you just stare at each other, not sure how to do this or even how to start. He's made enough moves on you to know at least how to start this sort of thing. And by the way he's timidly poking at your sides and making you jump every few seconds implies that he does in fact have at least an idea of what the fuck is happening.

It's late. Or maybe it's better to say early. Everyone who isn't fucking stupid should be asleep right now or on their way there. Even if they weren't, you're confident you two can keep quiet. At least you seriously hope he can. You can at least punch yourself in the face until you shut yourself up. Maybe you can do the same to him if he gets too loud. Probably not.

The poking quickly becomes bothersome and you swat his hands away, much to his disappointment. But his face takes a whole new form of curiosity when you sit back and pull off your shirt. Why does he look so surprised? He's seen you shirtless before, this isn't anything new. It hardly matters, the look on his face is the very definition of innocence. He almost never shows such a soft side of himself. Then the thought occurs to you. He's seen you without your shirt on more times than you care to remember, but never once have you seen him without his. Is he shy? Because that would be fucking adorable if he was. It's fine, you can work with that. Perhaps it's best this way, leaving it as such a huge privileged for when it really matters.

Your fingers slid subtly under the bottom hem of his shirt and he jumps a little, as if he didn't just watch you move your hands to his hips and along his stomach. Were your hands cold? Not likely. With such a warm caste, you're practically a furnace to him. He constantly reminds you how warm you are and how much he loves to sleep in the same bed when it gets cold out. The look he gives you when you pull up his shirt gives you a tidal wave of pity. Sollux looks like he's going to cry if you strip him anymore than that. Just a moderate piece of his pale gray skin peeked open, bubbling up every time time he inhaled and dipping down when he exhales. Your hands hook into his pants and simply unbutton the very first and only button. Sollux flinches and it breaks your pusher. "Sollux oh my god, is there something specific you want me to do?"

He sits up, moving you to straddle his legs. His shirt falls back down to covering his stomach. You'll admit to yourself that you're a little disappointed but keep that thought away from your facial expressions. The way he looks up at you is almost like he's apologizing, and it only breaks your pusher into smaller bits. "I'll do it. You don't really have to do anything." The way he says it makes it seem like he doesn't want to be touche, which is obviously the case. Though you were kind of hoping to have some sort of special privilege to him that no one else has. Of course that's pretty much what you want from every relationship. Just to be super important to someone and to have unique rights that only you have. Maybe it's selfish but to you, it's a natural response to having feelings.

Without even asking if you wanted to let him undress himself, he starts to slowly pull off his shirt. It would've been erotic or at least adorable if he didn't look like he was being held hostage and forced to get nude. It just makes you feel guilty. You push his hands away when he's only half shirtless. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to. I totally understand if you're not ready for it. I wasn't ready for a long-ass time either." Sollux shoves your hands away with much more force and determination, like taking his shirt off was some kind of huge accomplishment that deserved a huge reward if he actually went through with this. "No man, I made fun of you for this entire relationship because you wouldn't let me do shit like this. I cant fucking back out like a wuss."

"When did you make fun of me for this shit?"

"I never did it out loud, it was mostly in my thoughts."

"You fucking prick!" You smack him on the shoulder, and shove his shirt over his head and ball it under his back, leaving it awkwardly arched. Maybe you shouldn't have, but it was just a spur of the moment type deal. You only regret it a little, and only after seeing the face he makes. Immediately, he crosses his arms, trying to cover his chest like you've seen human women do when someone is trying to draw them nude. Really, covering yourself up when you're supposed to be naked seemed kind of counterproductive, but that was besides the point.

Watching him look vulnerable like that made your gut twist and your caliginous craving subside. Sollux cant even face you directly, it's fucking adorable. It takes a little bit of time, but you manage to pry his hands away from his chest, his eyes are closed and he doesn't move at all.

Sollux is, like most of you nowadays, paler than normal although you have a feeling he's always been this pale and it's nothing new. He's thin, the kind of thin that only he would be able to pull off. Just like the small slice of tummy you saw earlier, his entire torso moves with his breathing, rather than just his chest or stomach. Whether it's just because he's nervous or that's how he normally breaths, you don't really know. All you know is he looks fantastic, beautiful even. Is he shaking? That's precious. You run your fingers along his ribs, counting each one and memorizing where each of them are, then lean forward and press yourself against him just like before, the only difference being that you two are sitting up and there's and extra layer of clothing missing from each of you.

You press your lips against the side of his neck, not really kissing it, just sort of feeling. His pulse is going nuts, not really in an unhealthy way, more like he's trying to calm it down. Sollux lays his hand on your back, like he wants to get your attention but you're too far gone to give it to him. You wet your lips, swiping the tip of your tongue over his neck and he shudders, most likely from surprise. The hand on your back tightens, his nails digging into your skin and making your stomach flip. This was going slow. Too slow. And you love it that way.

His pants are still unbuttoned. Guess that's the next step. You tug at one of his belt loops, "do you want me to go first or you?"

"You." His answer has zero hesitance, and seemingly no prior thought. "Wow, okay, do you want me to take them off or do you want to take them off?" There's a spark in his eyes, and then a literal spark around his eyes. It's still hard for you to figure out when his psionics act up and when they don't. Is it in cases of extreme emotion like this? And if so, which emotion is he feeling right now? Seconds later you quickly realize it isn't emotional sparks, he's just using his psionics. Way to read too deeply into shit, Karkat.

He's trying to shimmy down your pants, along with your underwear. "You know, if you wanted to take them off yourself you could've just fucking said so." You snatch his hands up, fizzling out his concentration and rest his palms on your hips. His still static-y fingers make your skin tingle. Sollux is still shaking a little, even more so when his hands are on you. Nevertheless his fingers dip into your pants, slowly tugging them down. The cold air of the room on your ass is slightly uncomfortable, but you can deal with it for now.

Without much trouble, your pants and underwear are slid down mid-thigh, gross red bulge easily sliding out to meet him as soon as it has enough room to slid out. You close your eyes, not even able to look at him looking at the most disgusting part of your body. His breath hitches when it comes out into the open, you can feel it curling around in the loose pants draped around you. A cold pair of hands wrap around it and you flinch just a little bit out of surprise, he doesn't seem to notice and if he does, he doesn't care. You feel like he's just seconds away from laughing at you, about it's size, or texture or just anything anyone can say about a bulge that would be hurtful. Sollux doesn't say anything, cruel or otherwise. When you peek open, he's just staring at it with the heaviest blush you've ever seen him have. The way he licks his lips while staring at it makes you lose your mind a little bit. Sollux tilts his chin up to look at you and it's almost torture. "May I?" Just the sound of his voice and the thought of what you know he wants to do makes you shiver. You cant believe he wants to do THAT with this...thing attached to you. But you wont complain. It's a very common fantasy you have about him.

There's a smile on his face when you nod, an expression that makes your head a little foggy. Sollux gives your bulge a tight squeeze and you groan embarrassingly high pitched. The two of you shift around, he's on his stomach now, legs bent and face deep in your crotch. He's way too close to your no-no zone but you could care less. He looks at your nook the same way he looked at your bulge, with a mix of wonder, lust, and curiosity. You run your hands in his hair, closing your eyes and just letting him do what he wants.

You feel his hot breath on your bulge before his tongue. Sollux drags his tongue his tongue up your length, base to tip. It feels so much better than you ever imagined. You tug his hair, whimpering a small string of curses. You're sure he cant very well put it all the way in his mouth, but you're also sure he has an alternative plan. He paps a few kisses near the middle, licking up the length again and mouthing around it.

"Shhhhhit..." You hold his head with both your hands now, fingers fondling his horns. The only way you could get him to stop was to jerk him up. There's red dripping down his chin and it's *way* too hot for his own good. Then, all at once, your dick is freezing. Looking down on it, still holding onto Sollux's horns, you can see at least four layers of unmistakable yellow saliva and red pre-genetic material coating all along the length. The sight looks almost gruesome to you, but he cant take his eyes off it. "Are you done literally drooling on my bulge?"

"No, actually. I'm not. I wanted to try...putting it all in?" The way he says it makes it very easy to believe he's new at this. Of course, your eyes go straight to his teeth. They're sharp, meant for tearing apart flesh. Your bulge is pretty much the perfect amount of sensitive squish that teeth like those could slaughter. He obviously notices you staring at his chompers. "Oh don't worry, I'll be careful." That doesn't give you any kind of reassurance. "Okaay, you can try. Be seriously careful though."

His face lights up and he shakes your hands off his horns and sinks down in front of your bulge again. He looks over at it, already opening his mouth and you look away almost instantly. You don't need to look to know what he's doing. His lips wrap around you; they're warm and wet. His tongue drags along the underside of your bulge and you feel like exploding in his mouth just because you might not get the opportunity again. Before you can fully register the image of your matesprite laying between your legs with your disgusting red all over his face, he's already off you, licking his lips and a grin on his face that just makes you want to punch him. Anyone who knew him well enough could tell he was ten seconds away from a shitty comment, but you beat him to it by grabbing his face and yanking him into a kiss. He tastes like you. Not that you've ever tasted yourself.

You pull away and there's several beads of saliva connect your lips with his. Its painfully intimate and you feel almost completely satisfied`. Until you realized you were the only one who was basically naked. Well, pretty much naked. Your junk is hanging out and already got pretty warmed up so now you're ready to see what he's packin'. You kick your pants off all the way and they topple to the floor.

He can probably see you eyeing his groin as he gets back up into the sitting position. Except now, you're not on his lap and you're only a little bummed out about it. You now know better than to just go and grab at his clothes like last time. And for some reason, he still hasn't buttoned his pants back up. Not like it matters, they re coming off soon anyway. "Do you want me to take them off, or do you want to take them off?"

"You." He sounds exactly like he did earlier. No hesitation, no thought. And you're okay with that. You don't jump right into it, simply grabbing onto the loose button once again and pulling down his zipping. You're intentionally going much slowly than he did despite how he pretty much jerked you out of your pants. He's not you though. And you're not him. So you're taking it as slow as you need to. When he doesn't appear to be responding negatively, shaking, whimpering, looking like he doesn't want to be here etc., you start escalating a little, pulling down his pants but leaving his underwear on. Glancing up at him, you realize that his face is almost completely blank, like he's too lost in thought to focus on this. You give him a deep kiss to grab his attention even though you wanted to smack him upside the head. You have amazing self control. Sollux makes a small hum in appreciation, placing his hands on your thighs. The kiss is broken and the two of you share eye contact for a while until he smiles, a subtle smile that doesn't come very often. Especially around you, the guy that pisses him off as well as make him happy.

Your hand moves from the loose pants around him to his groin, pressing up against what feels exactly like a bulge. It makes both of you shiver. The thin cloth makes it very easy for his sticky coating to seep through his underwear and onto your fingertips. You don't remove your hand though, softly massaging him and feeling around for a second appendage. You're not sure if he has a second one or not, it's harder to feel than see. You kiss him one more time, and start to slip off the last layer of clothing standing between the two of you. Thankfully, he doesn't stop you or say anything, stiffening up but nothing else otherwise.

Eventually, you finally manage to get the remainder of his clothing off. His legs look like gray chopsticks, and his hips look exactly how they feel, sharp but somehow tolerable to cuddle with. Your eyes finally trace to the last piece of him you haven't seen yet and probably the reason he has his eyes closed just like you did.

To say the least, he doesn't have two bulges, but it's something sort of like that. It's one bulge and you take pride in the fact that you seem to be a smidgen bigger than him, refereeing to length and thickness. With his one bulge, there's a split tip that barely moves. Honestly, you've seen something like this before, at least you think so. It's been so long since you've seen any Alternian porn, you'd probably forget your own anatomy if it wasn't permanently glued to your body. Sollux's bulge is the same gold you've seen when he accidentally scrapes himself and when he's blushing. It dances around like a serpent, searching for something to wrap around. Gladly, you extend a hand to it...but Sollux bats it away. "Don't touch it." he says flatly.

"Why the hell not?" your tone has no anger, just confusion and a little concern. "Because it's disgusting. Do I even have to tell you?" He actually sounds annoyed. That was so much bullshit, you couldn't even comprehend it immediately. "Sollux, shut up, it looks fine."

"You have really bad taste in bulges."

"Maybe YOU have bad taste in bulges."

"Are we going to do this or not?"

"How can we do this if you don't let me touch you?" That seems to stump him; he doesn't respond. You try one more time to reach for his bulge, and he doesn't stop you.

The flesh of a bulge is something you've felt over and over, but for some reason, someone else's feels softer, warmer even. Your fingers trail up the length of it, stopping to squeeze the tips between your index and thumb. Sollux's breath hitches and you're way too impatient all of a sudden. You lean down, licking your lips and leaving a feather light kiss somewhere along the middle of his bulge. He whimpers and it melts your heart. His hand runs through your hair and you know he wants you to return the favor. Or he's at least deeply wishing you will. You're willing to entertain the idea if nothing else.

Your tongue glides across the soft, wet flesh. It feels paper thin, like biting it would tear a hole. A few more licks, kisses and even just rubbing your lips around and you decide that the taste isn't really your cup of tea, though the texture alone is fine. One last kiss, then another and you move back upright to face him. Sollux's face is more yellow than you've ever seen it, and his breathing is shallow and choppy. He looks delicious. You bring him into a kiss and just hold it for a second, feeling his lips, tasting him, and loving the warmth behind it all.

When you pull away, he looks just as good as before, just a different kind of good. Your head is cloudy, and you can barely tell that you're awake and this is happening. Sollux's hands are on your waist and he leaves another lingering kiss on your lips before asking "so who's topping?" He's wearing that arrogant smirk that says he expects you to say he is. Ha. That's adorable.

"I am." Your words are bold and final. At least that's how you try to make it sound. He simply scoffs in response, "No way, I am."

"I think by having the bigger bulge, I get the privilege of topping for our first time."

"Your bulge isn't--" he looks down to compare the two appendages, and sulks at the results. Oh god is he pouting? That's too precious. You give him a few kisses on the forehead and whisper things like "we cant all be winners," but none of it really seems to help. You coo at him and kiss him even more, on the head, the cheek, the lips, and even his horns, and eventually, he sees this blessing in disguise and gives into your affection.

For awhile, the two of you just sit there, bodies pressed against each other, hot and naked while kissing various parts of each others faces until he rocks his hips into you. "I probably have a tighter nook anyway," he chirps, and it makes you shudder. It takes you a second to get settled down between his legs while he spreads out for you. He looks just as golden and wet as the rest of him and you cant help but want to have a taste of that too. But that will have to wait for another time.

You give his body once last scan before resting your gaze on his bright round eyes. He's panting, and he's got that look on his face again. The one that makes it look like this isnt what he wants. You lean forward and give him a kiss on the cheek and ask him one last time if he's ready to go through with this. It takes a second, but he nods.

Without much more to say, you slid into him. Hoooly shit, that feels *so* good. Sollux stiffens though, and squirms uncomfortably. "You could've at least prepped me or something. Or warned me." You kiss along his neck and collarbone. His skin is soft and warm, and he's shaking again. Honestly, you could probably get off with just being inside him. Each time you moan, he groans, you hum, he whimpers. It takes awhile, a very long while, before he starts moving his hips in small circles. He grumbles something in your ear that you doubt even he knows.

Whatever he said, Sollux's seems ready for the next step. Without breaking that final kiss you planted on his neck, you pull yourself out of him and slowly push back in. It feels so much better than anything you've ever felt. Not just the actual sex, but sentiment behind it just charges the stimulation. His hands scratching at you shoulders after just one thrust, tiny noises that could be from either pain or pleasure (maybe pleasurable pain?) and of course, just the simple heat of another person enveloping you. It's the best thing you've ever felt in your entire life.

"Faster." He whispers in your ear, much clearer than that previous grumble, and you happily oblige. With a noticeably faster pace, you drag yourself out and push back in as hard and fast as you can without utterly losing yourself right at the start. God, that'd be so embarrassing, you might not ever do it again.

You don't waste anytime starting up again with a slowly rising pace. Sollux's back arches in a perfect curve with just enough space for you to wrap your arms around him. Just *touching* him right now, hands on his sides, feels amazing. Or maybe it's just that your pelvis deep in him right now. You don't stop moving, not for a second. The sounds he makes aren't exactly the loudest and sexiest thing ever but they're still music to your ears.

It doesn't take long before he squeezes you way too tightly and climaxes on your bedspread. He's shivering, a puddle of yellow pooling on his stomach and a puddle under him too. You pull out and snicker a little. "That good huh?"

"Shhhh." Sollux pulls you into a kiss and grabs hold of your bulge without even asking. How rude. While he strokes you, you aren't holding on. When your orgasm builds up, you release it into his hand. The two of you lay together, his one hand sticky and both of your entire lower stomachs wet. You share several sweet, sleepy kisses that were probably sloppy only due to how tired the two of you are. He's limp in your arms, curled up into your chest like a small house cat. Each breath he takes is blown over your neck and upper back. Naturally, you can tell the exact moment he falls to sleep. Unfortunately, you don't have the same luck, staying up for at least a half hour later before kissing him on the cheek one last time before drifting off as well.

Today was the best night of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my writing? Maybe you'll like my art! Check out my art blog at  
> the2tranger-things-in-life.tumblr.com


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay.  
> there wasn't really a reason, i just procrastinated ;-;  
> the next chapter will be in Sollux's point of view.

When you awake that morning, he's not next to you. But when you sit up, he's not out of bed either. From the looks of how he's spread out over the bed, blankets shoved off in a ball at the end of the bed, Sollux got hot last night and physical contact wasn't necessary. Unfortunately. Despite how warm he looks, you cuddle up to him anyway, curling up under his arm and wrapping your arms around him. For awhile, it goes unnoticed and you're able to hold onto him, enjoy the cool contrast of his body compared to your own oven-like warmth, at least according to him. Minutes later, however, he grumbles and tries to shove you away again. "KK...too hot...go away for now," Fuck him. You're not moving for shit. As mentioned quite a while ago, cuddling him is like cuddling a thin garbage bag of broken glass but goddammit it's the thought that counts. So no, you're not moving. In fact, you press yourself closer to him. It makes him groan louder and probably aggravates him more. Good.

Sollux puts his hand on your forehead and tries to push you back, not with much force. Both of you are still naked from last night. Memories flood in, along with feeling of compassion, warmth, and a lot of color. More like just two, or three. But there was a lot of it. All of it was...overwhelming. The way he touched you, kissed you, *licked* you, all things no one has ever done to you in such a way. Everything about it sent chills down your spine. More positive than negative.

That's when your romance senses start tingling. This is the sort of thing that either makes or breaks a relationship. You're on the brink of flipping out, straight up leaving out to...wherever with your bare-ass. He won't feel the same way about you, will he? He hates how your body looks, and the way you look when you do it. You cant even think of the word right now. The way he's trying to shove you away is not helping with these feelings at all. If anything, it's making everything much worse.

Thankfully, he lets up, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and kissing the top of your head a few times. His affection is uncommon and very appreciated. At some point he even curls up against you too, pressing himself against your naked body. He's sweaty, which is gross, but you can tolerate it. If you can handle all those sharp edges, you can handle some sweat. "Gimme a kiss," he mutters into your hair, already moving down to retrieve said kiss.

"No." you move your head out of the way, twisting your neck around to avoid his lips. "Go brush your gross mouth first. I know where that thing has been." Sollux groans again, simply settling for kissing your jaw. For awhile, he just lays there, holding you close and occasionally kissing you somewhere on the face, trying to get at your mouth. And failing each time. Sometimes he even waits a while before jumping out to try and kiss you. Nice try. Finally, he just groans and moves lower enough to shove his face in you chest and almost no way to try and kiss you with his gross mouth. You know you said you could handle sweat and broken glass bod, but you've got to get up sometime and what better excuse than to earn a kiss?

"How'd you sleep?" He mumbles groggily. You can feel his mouth moving against your chest and it feels kind of nice. "I slept pretty okay, I suppose. Would've been better if some dumbass didn't throw me off of him in his sleep."

"Oh did you throw me off of you in your sleep?"

"Very funny, dick-a-pus."

"What?"

"Just get up and brush your damn teeth, I want a kiss."

"Fine, here's your kiss." Seconds later, he's on top of you, straddling onto your stomach and leaning over to kiss you. It all happens so fast you, you had no time to stop it. When you're lips lock together, you don't taste a whole lot. But you do feel. He feels like smooth, thin, Sollux lips. His teeth do get in the way, you've known that since your first kiss. Again, he grumbles a whole lot and shoves you away. "Ugh, your breath is gross." Your facial expressions takes on that of offense and you throw him off you. Sollux rolls on the other side of the bed. "Such a fucking dick, I'm not kissing you again for the rest of the fucking day. Fuck off, get out." The asshole actually has the nerve to whimper at you, and try to pull you back onto the bed when you try to get up. What a ballsy quadrantmate you've got yourself. Insult you and beg you to stay. Practically. He's not saying it, but you can see it in his dumb pitiful eyes. You lean down, kiss his forehead and continue to get up. Sollux crawls across the bed, stretches across and retrieves a pair of *your* pajama pants from the dresser by your bed. Prick. You catch a small glimpse of his ass. It's not very luscious or full but you still think it's cute, at the very least. You give his rear a playfully tap before he manages to pull himself back up and get his (your) pants back on. You don't let him see more than your own ass, still not entirely comfortable with showing him your body just yet. Quickly, you pull on the jeans you had on from last night. It doesn't really matter, you'll be changing soon after you wash up a little.

The second place you go to is the ab--bathroom. Once you get your face rinsed off and all the materials ready for the brushing of his teeth, you feels a pair of hands wrap around you and a sharp chin poke you in the back of the neck. Sollux hums against you, pressing his lips just barely there. He's being so affectionate this morning, and you could seriously get used to this. "How was last night?" The big question on both of your minds. Good thing he has the courage to ask it and you didn't need to. "It was nice. What did you think?" He hums again, pressing more kisses to you. His teeth poke at you and it honestly feels kind of good in a weird way. "Great. Best I ever had."

"That's all you've ever had."

"For now." You scoff and slap his shoulder. Sollux moves to the side of you, an arm still wrap around you as you start to take care of your personal hygiene. That dumb sap just lays his head on your shoulder until you finish before grabbing you a little firmer and kissing you again. This kiss is more open mouthed and you don't appreciate it as much as he does. When it's finally finished, you take the spare toothbrush you keep for him and shove it against him. "Your turn." With a groan and a sassy look that you could slap him for, he takes it. "Okay fine, but when I'm done, I want more. With *tongue.* I didn't get any of that last night." What a poor little nut creature. You mean squirrel. Poor little squirrel. Didn't get your wet little squish muscle in his mouth. Oh god, that must sound weird out of context.

He brushes so fast it like he didn't even really clean them. But when you kiss again, you can feel the difference. Make-outs initiated.

He hums with delight, pushing himself closer to you. As each second passes, the kissing sounds more and more audible. To anyone else, this might be gross but you're practically deaf to the wet kissey sounds. All you feel is his lips, his hands, and his chest against you. He's still not the best kisser in the world, but he's enough to more than satisfy you. You hope it's a mutual opinion. Every time one kiss ends, another begins, a tad wetter and more intimate than the last. Until he's already trying to shove his tongue in you mouth. You'll humor him at least. Sollux taste like toothpaste, and his tongue is just a more concentrated version of that. You're sure you taste the same, but it's better than wake-up breath and the taste of dick.

The two of you kiss for maybe fifteen minutes until there's a knock at the door, and you can practically *feel* the annoyance slowly turn to anger with him. If there's anything he hates more than idiots, it's idiots who interrupt his affections with other trolls. He throws his head back and, with exaggerated reluctance, pulls away and goes off into another room. You leave the bathroom, scoop up your shirt from last night, tap Sollux on the rear again and go to answer the door. It's Terezi, which is just fantastic, and she's holding a bag of food.

"Hey I nabbed you guys some breakfast, hope you're hungry." She holds up the bag, it's blank, but you're sure the logo is on the other side. She might be able to smell and taste colors but she's still blind. In the instant, Sollux practically floats over, all traces of anger gone and he gracefully takes the bag. "Don't mind if I do."

"Sollux?" Her reaction is perfect, like she didn't even know how to respond. She pauses to sniff the air a little, leaning a little closer towards Sollux."Oh my, are you not wearing a shirt?" And then she grins a grin that only Terezi is capable of. "Wow, isn't this a surprise. I thought you guys were fighting."

"Who the fuck said we were fighting? And how the FUCK would you know??"

"Word travels fast, my deliciously red friend,"

"Deliciously red is exactly right," Sollux decides to chime in, with an innuendo of course. You shove him back into your hive, closing the door and standing out in the hall with Terezi. Her grin is even wider if that's possible. But she doesn't say anything, simply staring at you like she expects you to say something. You do, of course, "what made you want to drop by all of the sudden?" Very suspicious if anyone asked you. Never before has she brought you breakfast. Lunch, sometimes. Snacks, all too often. But breakfast? "I was just feeling generous today. Is it so bad to be generous Karkat?" She gives you that look, the look that would normally make you crack. It's like a pout, but a scowl at the same time. Her facial expressions will always be a mystery to you. "Fine, whatever, thanks for the food. Is this a gift or do you expect some kind of payback?" You don't plan on paying her back in anyway. No way. You're way too nice, that should be enough.

 

"Whatever, I'm going to back inside. Fuck off." You shove her playfully and she snickers. Without another word, she turns around and goes back to...wherever it is she goes. You just go back inside, like you planned to do.

Sollux has already sorted out the food into equal portions, not touching his own and just doing something on the computer that takes his ultimate concentration. You sit your ass down on the bed and try to look over his shoulder to see what he's doing. Then you realize you don't really care all that much. But you cant eat right now, you just brushed your teeth. Gross. But there is a question aching in the back of your pan. "Sollux, did you talk shit about me?"

"Not shit. Not really. But yeah I do talk about you."

"To who?!" You're suddenly very upset. Who the fuck does he think he is?

"Who the fuck do you think? My moirail." Oh. Who the fuck do you think YOU are? Jumping to conclusions. Dumbass.

"Well what do you say about me?"

"Same thing you probably say about me when you talk about me."

"Who the hell said I said anything about you?"

"Why are you asking so many fucking question?"

This quiets you down. He's right in a way. You did ask like four consecutive question. But then you're bored, and the best kind of entertainment comes to mind. "Hey, Sollux. Guess who gets to watch the movie that you got for me yesterday with me?"

"I'm good, thanks."

"Guess who doesn't get a fucking say in the matter?"

"I'm GOOD. Thank you."

"What part of 'you do not get a fucking say in the matter' did you not get?" Ugh. What a difficult asshole you have found yourself with, in a dumb beautiful relationship. You try to take his laptop so you can use it for the movie and that bitch slaps your hands away! What the fuck, what a dick! You slap him on the shoulder, right back. "Fine! Fuck you, I'm just going to go and watch it. By myself. Without you. Or anyone else. In fact, maybe I'll invite, oh say, Eridan, over to watch it with me. He's been just as excited to se--"

"I swear to god if you let him back in here, I will pack up my shit and leave. Last time you invited him to a sleepover, I couldn't wash his stupid fucking gross-ass smell out of any of our pillows."

"My pillows, thank you. And I LIKE his cologne."

"Well I don't, so keep him out of here."

"Then watch the fucking movie with me." You're already getting up, grabbing your portion of breakfast and retreating into the other room. He groans, very loudly and audibly. There's a closing of a laptop, loud and frustrated, and some shuffling. Sollux slaps your rear, not a playful tap like you gave him just a little while ago, but an actually slap. It puts a shiver down your spine and makes you punch his arm by reflex. But you're excited to watch this nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my writing? Maybe you'll like my art! Check out my art blog at  
> the2tranger-things-in-life.tumblr.com


	10. Chapter 10

Great. This is fucking fantastic. You bought him a movie (emphasis on bought, considering how much your friends tend to steal) and Karkat's forcing you to watch it with him. He's never forced you to before. Sure, he'd ask you to, guilt trip you, and even beg a little and that's when you would, but this isn't like that. He's pretty much dragging you by the arm.

Karkat deserved that spank. You tried to make it as rough and not sexy as possible. Unless, of course, he's into that. In which case you probably fed his fetish. You really hope you didn't.

So, without any further ado, you sit your skinny ass down and try to get comfortable. You're going to be here for awhile. He sets up everything and snuggles up to you like you aren't pissed off anymore. Totally wrong, by the way. You shove him away, not giving many fucks about his reaction or feelings at the moment. He makes a noise that makes you almost feel bad about it. Ha, no.

Karkat complains for awhile, bitching around until the beginning credits stop and the actual movie begins. What did you even get him? You can barely remember. Something about hoofbeasts. Ugh. Whatever it is, Karkat seems more than completely engaged in whatever's happening. Instead of attempting to pay attention, you immediately lean your elbow on the arm of the couch, head on your palm and ready to nap. Your 'lover' smacks you in the arm. You try again and get the same result each time. This fucking blows.

~~~

Every attempt to distract yourself from the movie (which is much lamer than you thought, the protag is so bullshit) is interrupted, usually in a way that hurts you. Each time was like coiling a spring, tighter and tighter. Inevitably, this spring comes loose around the time the protag and that random guy (who is a solid 7) finally kiss or something.

It was when you finally take out your phone, and he snatches it from you and flicks you on the cheek. There's no warning for it, even to you it's just a blur. All you know, is that it ended with you on top of him, fists in his sweater.

"Sollux, I--"

"No, shut up. Shut the fuck up. I am so done with your bullshit today. I didn't even want to watch this dribble with you, the plot is boring, the characters are stupid, the romance is stale and you won't even let me sleep. And right now, everything you're doing is pissing me off." And before he can say anything, you're kissing him, as rough as you can manage. You want to taste his blood. And after digging your teeth into his lip, you do taste it. It's invigorating. You two haven't had a good black kiss in a while. Maybe you want more than a kiss.

The maybe quickly turns into a definitely. You're so pissed off right now, you know you're probably overreacting, and you know Karkat may or may not be okay with this. It's cool though. He's more than capable of shoving you off and possibly hitting you out of instinct. That's cool too. You both have hit each other before. That's the core of a healthy black relationship. If you can't hit your partner, you don't belong in a kismessitude with them. Point being, you want to...restrict his movements a little.

After he's gotten the hint and started kissing back with as much luster as you, it takes you no time to have him bound and at your mercy with your psionics, hands behind his back. Exactly how you want him. Karkat doesn't notice straight away. When he does, he stops kissing you, even tries to pull away. Hell no. You push into the kiss more, shoving your tongue past his lips until he tries to bite you, along with making a lot of little noises. After pulling away, still being pretty pissed, you finally use your words. "KK, what the fuck." Surprising, he doesn't look so cool with the idea of being bound. In retrospect, you never have tried this before. You've "pinned" him down, but he only stayed down because he wanted to, and vis versa with him on you.

Karkat pulls at his hands, finding it impossible to move them at all. He freaks. Like, really freaks. No words are said, but you can see panic setting into his body language. Deep, impatient breathing, small little whimpers between each exhale, and he's still struggling way too hard to get out of your psionic hold. As soon as you see how much he doesn't like this, you cut it out.

Once he's free, he yanks his hands out from behind him and stares at them like they got blown off and sewn back on just in time. "KK, man, are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Totally fine. Don't do that." Just to emphasize, he punches you in the shoulder, hard. You wince and hold onto it. Ouch. Yeah, you deserved that. "Okay, I won't. Maybe we should...I don't know, talk about this kind of thing so it doesn't happen again?" Karkat nods in response to this. "I don't like being held down like that. I don't want anything to do with chains or collars or. Shit, anything like that." Well, that is kind of a bummer. You can at the very least respect what freaks him out.

"And I don't like being cut, or cutting for that matter. So knives are off the table."

"But biting is still okay, right?"

"Yeah, that's very okay."

"I don't like choking. Or really whips all that much."

"Well what about spanking?"

"It depends on if I'm receiving or giving. I guess I'd be willing to try--wait, you're into that?"

"It's a completely hypothetical question! It has nothing to do with my opinion on things!"

Uh huh. Sure. That's totally right. You definitely believe him. The way his face colors up is helping his case tremendously. You lean forward a little and kiss his cheek. "I wouldn't mind trying it. At some point."

"Yeah, we would if I were into that sort of thing. What's your take on food play?"

"Awesome. Don't see anything wrong with it." Karkat nods in approval. Movie night actually went pretty okay. Even if you didn't get to have your quite overdue black kisses. Next time. Yeah definitely next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my writing? Maybe you'll like my art! Check out my art blog at  
> the2tranger-things-in-life.tumblr.com


	11. Chapter 11

You'd never been one for comforting. Nor have you ever been one for coddling. Even if you did your best when Aradia was feeling upset, which wasn't really often. She's always a little peppy; you try your best when you're needed. Despite the fact that you're such a mess that when you need comforting, it's a full time job. Over the time that the two of you have been moirails, she knows better than to try and use words to help you feel better. All you need is a literal shoulder to cry on, and a lovely girl shooshing you and running her fingers through your hair. That's all you've ever needed.

Karkat however, is much more high maintenance. What goes on between him and Kanaya is really none of your business. But when you're right next to a shouty temper tantrum, it's hard to ignore it. When GA tries to do her best to soothe such a storm, she only gets frustrated herself. Eventually though, the two reach an understanding.

Karkat is very emotional. You've known that from the very start. He cries at movies, he cries during arguments (which melts your heart and ends said argument) and sometimes, he just cries, just because he's thinking about something that makes him sad and he just breaks down. Those are the moments when you have to play moirail for him. It's not entirely terrible. Kanaya goes to Rose for her problems all the time. Quadrants aren't always cut and dry, divided, black and white. There's all kinds of blurring all the time.

But what's always been something you never really understood, is when Karkat cries during sex.

The two of you don't go at it very often. Maybe only a handful of times your entire relationship. But every single time Karkat bottoms, he cries. You've thought of asking him why, but never worked up the nerve. It happens like clockwork. You finish, you lie beside him, maybe sling an arm over him, he might cuddle up to you, and then he starts crying. It's a silent cry, which is surprising considering all things. He just nuzzles up closer to you and cries for just a little bit before relaxing. There's even a little bit of trembling going on with him.

Part of you finds it endearing. Part of you finds it off putting. Is he. Not satisfied? Sad? Happy? What is it? Do you even want to know or is it one of those things that are best left alone.

Well tonight, whether you two do it or not, you're going to ask. It's something you feel needs to be addressed. It's also just something that's important. You feel like you should know this.

***

So that evening, you sent him a message asking him to come over, mentally preparing yourself for every way he could react to this. He could get offended, and it could lead to a fight. He could get offended and start fighting and then start crying. Or he could just be totally cool with answering it. All of these, you need to be prepared for.

When Karkat arrives, he seems to be in an at least pretty good mood. Nothing seems to be bothering him. But he doesn't seem entirely cheerful.

He greets you with a friendly smile and a shove as he passes you. "What's up," is the only thing he actually says. Oh if only he knew how nervous you were to ask this. It's fine, what's the worst  that could happen? A pissfit? Yeah, that's not too bad, calm the fuck down.

"We need to talk, KK." And just like that, he looks worried. Fuck, he probably thinks it's a break up talk. "Don't fucking look at me like that, it's not what you think." He deflates a little but still has that look on him.

You take a seat, not offering one for him, but he understands that it's probably best. It's hard for you to look at that sweet fucking face. He looks scared, like you really are breaking up with him and you just said that to catch him off guard when you do it. What kind of bullshit would that be. "It's just something I'm a little curious about." Maybe that would ease him some more? 

Okay, now how do you word this. When we have sex...When I fuck you...Uhh...Maybe you should just outright say it. "Why do you cry sometimes when we. You know." Real mature. You could've said sex. Or say 'make love' because you know how much he likes to think about it that way. But no it's fine. 

If he thought you were trying to catch him off guard, you clearly succeeded in that endeavor. He looks speechless. Like even he doesn't know. "I don't really know." Oh.

"But wait," he continues, "it's more than that. It's really complicated." You think about saying something witty and cleaver but decide to just keep your mouth shut and listen like a good person. "It's only whenever you're on top. You do it weird. Wait, shit. Maybe weird isn't the right word. Different is the right word. You look at me different than when I'm on top. You look at me different than when you always look at me. And it's while we're doing. That." Okay, now you don't feel as stupid. "So I guess I just get a little. Overwhelmed." Overwhelmed. Karkat gets overwhelmed during sex. With you. "What's there to be overwhelmed about?" It's a simple question that you're honestly wondering. He scoffs, like it should be obvious. It probably should be, but you're just not that kind of smart.

"Because I love you, you stupid piece of shit."

There are several seconds of silence. He took you off guard that time. Maybe it is a little strange that the two of you have gone this long in a relationship and haven't said a single I love you to each other. Maybe it is weird that you've thought about saying it after a lot of things that times that it would've definitely been appropriate but wussed out because you thought you were moving to fast. And then it's probably also strange that Karkat might've been also thinking the same thing and also felt the same way. And that's why he was overwhelmed. It all makes a little more sense now. Even if it all is a little weird.

What do you say? Should you return the affection? Yes you should. Why are you even asking yourself that. "I. Love you, too." Why did you say it like that Why are you so nervous, it's just saying I love you for the first time in a very, very red manner. What's there to be nervous about.

"You don't have to say it back you know. It's fine if you don't--"

"No, dude it's okay. I really do feel that way. I've just. Never said it to anyone else before. It's kind of difficult." Karkat looks at you with understanding. As if he knew exactly what you were talking about. Odds are, he does. "Yeah. It is pretty difficult." Karkat scoots a little closer to you, sitting between your legs and kissing your forehead. It makes your chest flutter. Your hand goes to run through his hair and gently tug him into a kiss. It's sweeter, softer, and more relaxed than you two have ever had. This is an I love you kiss, you've decided to call it. When you pull away, Karkat's tearing up. You don't need to feel put off, or worried this time. Simply because you know he's just feeling a little overwhelmed with emotion. And you kind of are, too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for the long wait /o\ just a little writers block.
> 
> Like my writing? Maybe you'll like my art! Check out my art blog at  
> the2tranger-things-in-life.tumblr.com


End file.
